There are two words used in a King James Bible that in private conversation are sometimes interchanged one for the other, but should be kept separate. They are the words "sodomite" and "effeminate". They have two different meanings.
Sodomite derives from the city of Sodom. It derives its meaning from that city's practice of men seeking sexual relations with other men. I often hear people say that America has become a modern Sodom, but that is not true. In Sodom the sexual relationship was mandatory. The inhabitants would not suffer people to come in and stay unless they submitted to their sexual practices.
If our culture ever does go all the way to biblical sodomy then we can expect our children to come home with notes that say, "Little Johnny wouldn't participate in health class today". We are not there yet. This blog post will not attempt to examine the laws on sodomy and the various reaches and over reaches that have been practiced over the years in men trying to enforce their moral codes on others.
Suffice it to say that in the New Testament God does not punish men for sodomy. Sodomy is the punishment. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet, Romans 1:26, 27.
What I do want to look at is the word "effeminate". Effeminacy is the sin of our age. It plagues our churches and our homes. An effeminate man is a man who despite the virility he exhibits physically, how big a truck he drives or how pretty his wife is, thinks with his emotions first. In this respect he acts like a woman. No one asks men what they think anymore. They ask them how they feel.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, I Corinthians 6:9. Notice that abusers of themselves with mankind (sodomites) and effeminate are two distinctly different things. In our day and age, men who are absolutely heterosexual are very apt to be effeminate.
I am from an old enough generation that when the baby in the crib next to me in the hospital nursery asked me if I was a boy or a girl, I looked under the blankets and only looked to see if I was wearing blue or pink booties. I am a King James Bible believing man whose outlook on life, sex, God, home or whatever is not based on my predilections or early sin life, but instead is anchored in the grace of God through Jesus Christ, and his revelations through a King James Bible. I still believe that there are two sexes and that God made them different.
In this decidedly unworldly outlook, I see each sex having specific strengths, weaknesses and roles. In my outrageously outmoded outlook, I see women as being empowered and weakened by their tendency to reason on an emotional level. Accordingly, I see men in their natural state both empowered and weakened by their tendency to react through reason first and emotion second. A good marriage will utilize each strength.
A man might well reason that his son deserves to be grounded for 15 to twenty months based on the report card he brought home. His first reactions are based on a rational look at the boy's abilities and his dismal record. The woman, though intellectually as able as the man to see how poorly their son has done, reacts with her emotions first. She sees the hurt in the boy's eyes and his sorrow over his father's disappointment. It is that perfect partnership of marriage that melds two divergent ways of thinking into a harmonious decision making machine.
The problem with today's men, is that they think like women. They run everything through their emotions before they think about them. Men who think thus violate I Corinthians 6:9. I would not care to know a man who could not be emotional. What I seek deliverance from is men who are emotional first, and thoughtful second. We are in this state for many reasons, but men's lack of morality is a significant cause.
A man who had sexual relations with his wife prior to them getting married, surrendered his moral authority. Fill a church full of men who have similar upbringings, education, and employment, and separate them into the camps of which men came to their marriage bed as virgins or chaste, and which ones came as fornicators, and there will be a distinct difference in the ease and grace with which they exercise moral authority. A man who started his relationship with his wife by surrendering to his emotions and basic sexual instincts will scarce be able to right the ship and run his home with manly virtue. I pity every woman who is married to such a man.
I have known soft spoken men with smooth hands and gentle of speech, who when pressed in family emergencies can be rock solid somewhere in their innermost core. I have known men who drive big pick up trucks, wear tool belts, have wrists bigger than my waist and yet are absolute wimps in their innermost souls when things get tough.
Pornography is another debilitater of men. Pity the woman who must compete with the airbrushed models of the internet. After a man has run a couple of babies through his wife's body and that youthful tightness of her skin tone and muscles is gone, some men are such vile idiots that they turn to internet fantasy for gratification because their effeminacy will not allow them to build a loving relationship built on more mature principles.
We much teach our daughters to look for men who are man enough to keep their virginity until marriage. A young man who feels ostracized from his peers, or somehow inferior because he is not sexually active, will make a terrible husband. Frank Zappa (yes, that vile rock and roller) wrote years ago, "Girl you thought he was a man, but he's nothin' but a muffin." Any young man who surrenders to his basest emotions with our daughters prior to marriage is not worthy to marry them.
I thank God for the blood of Jesus Christ. By my 25th birthday I was already a man who I would never want any young lady under my ministry to marry. I thank God for the saving faith of Jesus Christ which wrought a new man in me. And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness, Ephesians 4:24. I sorrow over some of the things that my wife had to endure until such time as the man called Jesus taught me manhood.
If you are a male today and would like to become a man, look at your wife. It is not her fault if she has to make the decisions while you run and play your games pretending it's a man thing. You are not going to convince her that you have somehow changed because you claim to have turned over a new leaf. If the testicles inside of your soul ever drop down into their proper sockets, you will win your wife's respect back very slowly. You will do it with love and patience. If you become the man that you are supposed to be, you will see her cautiously test you with small things to see if you are for real.
She is afraid that the old anger issues will come back. She suspects that you will lose interest and revert to what you have always been. She will wonder who or what is on your mind when you are passionate towards her. No matter what the outside world sees, your wife will know that the fallen nature of Adam runs your soul and she will not trust you. You are effeminate. Get a King James Bible, get into a godly church and be a man.